Ok, just to clarify, no matter what I will be going round the world. Not going is not an option.The blockade I'm up against is, I suppose, far less dramatic; although when, in all its colourful glory, I cannot see around or over it, it feels unconquerable. Simply, I cannot decide whether agency is the right way to go, or whether I should stay where I am for now.

Money aside, agency is far less deep in nature, and probably less fulfilling - You get no input into people's lives, and barely get to know anyone. But it would enable me to see a huge variety of places and meet a lot of people which would help with my appalling face-value people skills and give me a wider picture of the sector. Ok, so, money has to be an issue in the equasion, since I'm trying to save. I'd be looking at, on average £3/hour more & extra for uncivilised hours or holidays.

But if I stay, I can get my NVQ 2 (or 3, hopefully, with a little hard-talking to the area manager), get on the trainer's training which you, in theory need to do all the induction shit for new staff that I've done for 12 months. It looks far more impressive on paper. And Gerry wants to use me to develop staff skills, apparently, which would be great managerial experience. I'd be working with tenants I'm comfortable with, and a supportive, fabulous staff team I know and trust. And I'd miss 'em like hell if I leave. And the service is changing for the better, and I could be a frontline part of that as part of the senior team. It's easier to stay; I'm comfortable, and lately, it's felt all the time like I belong. But I don't know if that's a good thing. And I don't know whether re-committing will make it harder for me to leave later on.

Money isn't the most important thing, obviously. but since both choices would allow me to develop different skills in completely different ways, I can't help feeling that whatever I do, I'll be short-changing myself.